An Apology too Many

I know I said I was sorry
I know I said I was here to stay
But you know I walked out
And I cheated on you
What can I do
I am addicted to abuse
Your feelings
I have never been true
I have said my apologies
I have tried to be sincere
But I have lost my way
Again and again
Only finding myself
Ashamed
Am continually begging
On your footsteps
If I could be perfect
You know I would be
For you I want to say
I will give my life
And never hesitate
But you know I cheated
And know that I walked out
I know I can never expect
For you to forgive me
Or give me a second chance
I don’t deserve anything
Because I am the devil
Reincarnate
A second chance has become cliché
In my life where apologies
Continue to escalate
As I lead my life astray
I committed to you then
I am committed to you now
But I am far from what I wanted to be
What I wanted for you and me
I had once dreamed of living
In a mansion made of love
Of trees and leaves and sunsets
And a beautiful breeze
While we walk in the park
Of a life in a paradise
Just you and me
I look around now and see
Really it was all a dream
How could someone like me
End up with someone like you
Only in a dream
Could it ever come to be
Am a foolish man
With foolish dreams
God help me
Because I am begging on my knees
Any good I did in my life
Was a tribute to thee
But my actions make me
The accumulation of all the
Forsaken particles in a sea
Of all that is to be loathed
Please, I beg on my knees
I am not anything I was supposed to be
Just breathe, into me breathe
All that you wanted from me
Because I am nothing in this body
Without you breathing life into me

- Sevak -